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(This play is royalty-free
for performances in schools and children’s theatres.)
(Feel free to change anything but the ending.
If you want to tell me what you think of it, you can at:
mwhardgrove@hotmail.com)
Characters (in order of
their appearance) The Pixie The Ogre The Grumbles: [Big One [Elmuck [Agnopple [Vurple [Smock ACT
ONE ( The scenery depicts
a barren mountaintop with a blue-sky-white-cloud backdrop. Dominating the stage is the very dark
mouth of a cave big enough for both the Ogre and the Pixie to move around in
and act there expressively. But as the play opens, it is a filled only with
darkness, black and lonely-looking. The Pixie "flies" onstage.) PIXIE: Oh, Ogre! (No response from the
cave. Then she puts her hands to each side of her mouth and says, more loudly: Oh, Ogre!! (Still nothing from
the darkness.) YO, OGRE! YOU GONNA PLAY WITH ME, OR WHAT!!! (Still there is only
silence from within. After the beat of nine, or thereabouts, a
scratchy-whiny-growly voice from inside the cave calls out: OGRE: Go away! I don't wanna play today. I'm sick! (The Pixie turns ,
her hands again on her hips, and gives the audience a quick look of wide-eyed
incredulity. Then she turns back toward the cave, takes one step toward it, and
calls out sweetly: PIXIE: If you can't come outside, is it all right if I come in? OGRE: Oh, no! You can't! You can't do that! I-I-I'm sick. You might
catch what I've got! Stay out there! You better stay out there. (The Ogre gives out with
a transparently fake sneeze. In reaction, the Pixie pulls her head back on her
neck, then slowly walks backwards from the cave like a pitcher sizing up a
challenging batter. She moves from side to side, shifting her weight from foot to
foot without moving them, as her hands come together in front of her, close to
her body. Then, in an expansive, flamboyant gesture, the Pixie flings
her arms wide. At that precise moment, as if by magic, a bright light comes on
in the cave, showing the Ogre huddled against its wall where the audience can
barely see him. The Pixie gingerly, like Chaplin reaching toward the blind
girl, comes to the mouth of the cave and stretches out her hand to her friend.
The Ogre turns around, and the Pixie's hand and shoulders fall. However you
decide to represent the Ogre by makeup and costuming, it must be evident that
One of the Ogre's eyes has been blacked.) PIXIE(the sound of tears
in her voice): Oh, Ogre! You have a black eye! Who hurt you? OGRE(turning away): Aw, I just fell down. Nobody hit me. Now make it dark again.
It's too bright in here. Hurts my eyes. PIXIE: You shouldn't fib to me, Ogre. I'm your best friend! OGRE: What makes ya think I'm fibbing to ya! Sheesh! I just fell
down, I told ya! I can't fly, okay? I don't have wings like you do. Sometimes I
fall down! PIXIE(putting her hand
on his shoulder): Oh, Ogre, don't be mad at me. I only asked because I care. If
you'd just fallen down, you wouldn't be trying to hide from me. OGRE: Just fell down! PIXIE: Ogre? OGRE: Fell down! (The Pixie bows her head
and turns her face toward his) OGRE: Fell....down....Okay, okay, okay. PIXIE: Now what really happened? OGRE: Well, okay. You win. I can't fib to you. I went down the
mountain this morning to see if there were any of those flowers you like...you
know. Christmasmums, uh, Christerplums, uh... PIXIE: Chrysanthemums? OGRE: Yeah, those flowers...and Big One the Grumble beat me up. PIXIE( stepping back a
step): He did that to you? OGRE: Yeah...didn't take him very long either. PIXIE: But why? OGRE(rubbing his black
eye): Don't know. We didn't talk much. (The Pixie whirls and
"flies" downstage. The Ogre follows. Outside the cave, the Pixie
turns on her heel, hands on hips, posture indignant.) PIXIE: It's just not right! Just because they're bigger than you,
they think they can treat you mean. I think I'll have a talk with Mr Big One
and the Grumbles and ask them to play nice! OGRE(with a Lou Costello
panic): Whoa-NO! Not that! You can't go down there. You can't talk to
the Grumbles! If they find out that I told you what they did, they'll beat me
up all over again! Why don't we don't and just play-like we did! You get 'em
mad, they could come...up...HERE! Whoa-No! Promise me you won't go down there
and make them mad so they beat me up again! PIXIE("flying"
offstage to the right): I promise. (Seeing that she is
flying down the mountain toward the camp of the Grumbles, the OGRE yelps: “But, Pixie! I've already got ONE black eye!” and hurries after her.
And the curtain closes) (A minute before the
curtain rises on the second act, the actors who play the Grumbles, whilst still
behind the curtain, shout, growl, and whistle, and then converge their noise
into a monotonously repeated rap with the following words: I'm a Grumble, and I'm a nincompoop! Ain't gotta 'nuff sense ta use a hula-hoop! I gotta potful of gobbledegoop! Gonna eat me some Junebug soup! Then as the curtain
opens, the audience sees a large pot at the right side of the stage, with a
Grumble stirring its imagined contents with a long stick. Another Grumble, sniffing the pot and
rubbing his hands together, is being slapped away by One doing the stirring.
Two smaller Grumbles are boxing, and Big One, the biggest Grumble present, is
strutting around like a professional wrestler. BIG ONE: Hurry up with that Junebug Soup! I'm hungrrrry! AGNOPPLE: Well, get un-hungrrry! 'Cause it aint ready yet! BIG ONE: You talking back to me! AGNOPPLE: Well, no...but if you'd keep Elmuck away from the pot, I'd be
through by now! BIG ONE: Elmuck! Leave Agnopple alone and let her cook the Soup! I'm
hongrrrry! ELMUCK: Not enough Junebugs, if you ask me! AGNOPPLE (slapping
Elmuck's fingers from the pot): Who asked ya! You wanna cook it? Big One, make him stop! BIG ONE: Knock it off, Elmuck, or I'll feed you to the Junebugs!
Go overthere with Vurple and Smock! ELMUCK: But what if they start fighting again! You remember what
happened last time! VURPLE: Yeah! I knocked you down 'cause you got in my way! SMOCK: You didn't knock Elmuck down, I did! VURPLE: Did not! SMOCK: Did so! VURPLE: Did not!! SMOCK: Did too!! I'll knock you down! VURPLE: You ain't big enough to knock me down! (SMOCK swings, misses
VURPLE, hits ELMUCK. ELMUCK rolls. SMOCK and VURPLE squabble.) AGNOPPLE: Make 'em stop! BIG ONE: Let 'em fight! Makes 'em strong!
'Sides...maybe they'll be too tired to eat and there'll be more soup fer me! AGNOPPLE: What if they knock over the pot? BIG ONE: They knock over my Junebug Soup, I'll eat them for
supper!! (Big One
struts around for a moment and then stops like a Keystone Cop spotting a
pickpocket and points one of his four arms to the left of the stage.) BIG ONE: Well, well, well! Lookee here! It's that little Oh-gre I
whupped up on this mornin! He must be reeeal stoopid! He come back for some
more whuppin! Brought him some help, looks like! What's that he brung with
him---a bird! (All the Grumbles laugh
in unison and then stop.) You save some a that
Junebug Soup for old Big One. This won't take any longer this evenin' than it
took this mornin! (Big One bends over and
picks up a rock. Just as the Ogre timidly steps onstage from the left, Big One
casts the first stone. The Ogre ducks, and in another Lou Costello yelp shouts: Hey-whoa! Watch out! You almost hit me with that thing!
Hey....Pix-ie! Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea! They got r-r-rocks! And he's
already th-thrown one of 'em at something right behind me! (The Ogre checks a
non-existent watch on his wrist) My, my, look at the time. Well...we must be going! Love to
stay and chat, but, my, my look at the time! (All the other Grumbles
have assembled behind their leader cheering him on with a chant "Go Big
One, Go Big One, Go Big One, Go Big One!" As the Ogre hangs on to
the curtain for security, the Pixie "flies" past him and stands
between him and his assailant like Joan of Arc at the front lines.) PIXIE: You should all be ashamed of yourselves. This is my friend.
He's not bothering you. Why don't you pick on someone your own size if you have
to pick on somebody! BIG ONE: Aw, buzz off, Tweetybird! (Big One then throws a
rock at the Pixie which she disdains to dodge. Then the Pixie--as the curtain
rapidly closes--begins to repeat exactly the motions she performed just before
she waved her arms and brought light to the Ogre's cave. During the few seconds
that the curtains are closed, several things occur simultaneously: 1) a swift harp
chord is played 2) the
houselights come on and go off 3) the actors
playing the Grumbles rush offstage. 4) very small
children dressed in Grumble costumes
rush out and take the places and poses
that the other Grumbles had when the curtain closed. 5) the director
suffers stress hoping it all goes just right.... Then the curtain opens
again with the illusion that the Pixie is just
finishing the arm movement that she had just begun when
the closing curtain hid her from the audience. Now
the Grumbles seem to be much smaller than the Pixie,
the Ogre, and the pot of Junebug Soup. As the children begin to
run around the stage making squeaky noises, but speaking no intelligible words,
the Ogre walks hesitantly past the Pixie toward the little Grumbles. The little
Grumbles cower from him and huddle together next to the pot. The Ogre opens his
arms to them and says: OGRE: Don't worry...I'm not gonna hurt you just because I'm bigger
than you are now. It's not right to hurt anybody. Now maybe you'll remember to
be nice to those who are littler than you are. (The Ogre starts to turn
away, then turns back and slaps his cheeks in relieved laughter) OGRE: Oh, I forgot! There's NOT anybody littler than you now!
Sorry! (The Ogre turns and
wipes away imaginary sweat from his brow. The Pixie and he leave the stage to
the left, and the little Grumbles, bumping into one another with slapstick
confusion, finally exit to the right. The curtain closes) ACT
THREE (The scene is once more
the mountaintop and the Ogre's cave. The light is still on inside the cave.
Bouquets of flowers are strewn about the barren landscape. Songbirds sing. The Ogre and the Pixie are
sitting on a log near the mouth of the bright-as-daylight cave, drinking
lemonade. There is a minute of calm silence from the moment the curtain is
finished opening till the time the Ogre speaks nonchalantly with a sideways
glance to the Pixie.) OGRE: They always gonna be little-bitty like that? (The Pixie takes a sip
of her lemonade, looks off in the imaginary distance, turns, and gives her
friend a warm smile for his thoughfulness.) PIXIE: I don't think so. They've always been little-bitty. They just
didn't know it. It's the size of the love in your heart that makes you big or
little. When you hurt anybody, you're little. If you help anybody, you're big.
When they learn to play nice with everybody, they'll grow to be the size of
their hearts. (The Ogre drinks his
lemonade thoughtfully for a moment, then turns back to her) OGRE: Okay...if you say so. But stick around just in case. If you
weren't my friend and hadn't gotten me to tell you what happened, I'd still be
stuck up here in my cave in the dark. I'm not saying I don't believe you, but
stick around just in case...wanna play ball? PIXIE: Yeah, we haven't played ball since the day before yesterday!
Here let me have your cup. Go get the ball. (As the Ogre whoops
joyfully, and dashes, in his slow way, into the cave, the Pixie comes downstage
and addresses the audience directly, arms wide, a caring smile on her face: PIXIE: And this is the Ogre's Lesson.... Will you say it over and over for me while we play ball? It's
a lesson that everyne needs to learn in life, and the younger we are when we
learn it the safer and happier we'll be....it goes like this..... "And the Ogre knew when he was scared, His troubles would start shrinking, If he would tell someone who cared, What he was really thinking. (When the Pixie has the
children chanting the Ogre’s Lesson, the Ogre comes back out of the cave,
excitedly holding a large colorful ball. Over the dear din of the children
repeating the words that may teach them to talk about their fears, the Ogre shouts: OGRE: I found the ball! It was so bright in there, I couldn't see
it! (The
Ogre and The Pixie play to the music of the children.) THE
END ACT TWO